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Do you ever look back at what's happened throughout your life and realized that you can pinpoint exactly when you took the wrong turn that ended you up in your current situation, be it good or bad? Have you ever looked at yourself, your past self, and realized that you should have turned left instead of right, or said yes instead of no?

I can show you exactly where I went wrong.

This is a story about my ending, but of course everyone knows that htere are no endings without beginnings. So now it's up to me to look back and trace the veins, the markings, the roads I followed to bring myself to where I am now.

When I was fourteen, I started school. I followed my neighbours son, the boy I'd been in love with since I was twelve. There were two schools in our town, and I went to the one he chose.

I chose it for him, he chose it for his family. They had all gone to this school, ever since this school had existed. And since my family were new to the region, or newer than most, I didn't have any family ties. So I chose his ties to lead me.

He was pleased with my choice. We would play together, dirty little games with dirty little secrets.

We would play like this for a while, until one of us was unwilling to go further. I was always the one who wasn't willing to keep going. And I paid for it. Just like I paid for everything else. Of course, this story is about paying, just as much as it's about the roads you choose. It's a story to show that everything is worth the price, as long as you know what it will cost you. And at the time, I thought I did.

His name was Aaron. Such a simple name for the boy I followed to my doom. Just a normal name. And just a normal boy, really.

There were so many in his family. He slept in the closet at the top of the stairs. Some of the children had rooms, some of them shared. Aaron preferred to sleep in the closet on his own, all by himself.

And sometimes me.

We weren't lovers. He never kissed me. We touched, we petted, we talked. But he never kissed me. If he had, then this story, the one I'm telling, the one that was meant to happen, wouldn't have. And so clearly, that would have been a better choice than the ones I made.

If he had kissed me, we'd have become lovers. If we'd become lovers, I'd have become a mother. I am not a mother.

It was never meant to be.

Now this school, known around the village as The Palace, it was as formidable as it sounds. It didn't look like it had been built, although they were constantly telling us which sections had been built, and when.

It looked like it woke up under a hill one day and stretched it's way through. It looked as though, when it found itself on top of the sleeping hill, it liked what it saw. It looked as though, liking what it saw, it decided to stay. And stay it did.

It was perched at the top of the village, and the other school, the one I did not choose, lay at the bottom.

My parents didn't much care which school I chose, as my parents didn't much care about anything I did. The school seemed well enough, had a good reputation, produced fine, upstanding and often imposing adults. Aaron seemed well enough, had a good many brothers and sisters, a feat my parents never aspired to but found admirable in others. All the brothers and sisters had fine, upstanding and often imposing Book names. My parents had never aspired to follow the Book, but found this an admirable trait in others.